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Well, Fuck Me City! [entries|friends|calendar]
Oh, Misery!

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because the sky is blue, it makes me cry..... [22 Nov 2005|12:42am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

If I could go back to 4 years ago knowing what I know now, and already knowing what would happen with myself and every single person I knew "back in the day", I would do it. Hands down. However, if I could only live that wonderful time of my life again not knowing what I know now, I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could allow myself to go through all the pain, and suffering, and tears that it took to get me where I am now. I wouldn't change anything, but if I had known what would happen, it would've helped me prepare for any surprise shit bomb that landed on me. I would've had back-up ammo for a very bloody battle that left a part of me dead.

Sorry, around my birthday I become very nostalgic. I promise these pointless entries wont keep happening.

*From Hell*

oh mother, will she break my heart? [27 Sep 2005|10:45pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

It's really hard to fall from grace. Especially when the grace has been non-existant for years.

All hope is lost.

*From Hell*

[19 Sep 2005|12:29am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I haven't been this depressed/upset/angry/crushed/volitile/sad/reckless/hearbroken in a long, long time. It's overdue I guess.

I should just go cry a river or something I guess?

4 *From Hell*

[08 Sep 2005|07:10pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts.

1. I have been into astrology since the first grade.
2. I really love running around in my underroos. If I could, I'd never wear pants!
3. Shoes really annoy me. I hate wearing them and I hate shopping for them.
4. Contrary to popular belief, I am actually very intelligent.
5. I am not rebellious in any way, shape, or form. As far as my family is concerned atleast.
6. I love taking pictures with my camera and in photo booths. Black and White film is my favorite. I hate color.
7. I have a collection of dead flowers, and I grow mold cultures.
8. Bret Easton Ellis and Tim Sandlin are my favorite author.
9. Zombies make me really happy.
10. I wish I was a vampire.
11. I'm pretty much a snob when it comes to everything. I will never show it, but I guess I'm just all about the best!
12. I have never been to a high school football game, thank god!
13. I'm really messy in regards to my car. My room is very clean, though.
14. I believe in god, but not the bible.
15. I really love trashy gossip magazines.
16. One day, I plan to publish one of my many manuscripts.
17. I love sailor moon. Shutup.
18. I'm a hypochondriac.
19. I'm a sissy girl underneath it all.
20. I'm not a halfway person. You will either hate me or love me.

I'm not going to tag anyone.....I figure if you want to do this, you will.

1 *From Hell*

betty betty hush your mouth lemee tell you something.,..... [07 Sep 2005|11:02pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

Abigail and I got really fucking terashed with jordan and taylor tonight/. I can't even see straight. Everyothiong is sooooo silly right noty. Sometinmes i feel like im not erven speaking englishl. abigail dsays....."barrraaaaah!"

k time to watch reno 991111\
\

she's really embarassed by this mlucis. I THINK ITS FUCKING AWESOME

2 *From Hell*

I'm the one for you, cause I know all the dirty things you'd like to do. [07 Sep 2005|08:18am]
[ mood | happy ]

Sorry, I can't be your dirty little fantasy. I just found out that I'm already taken.

*From Hell*

Childhood living is easy to do..... [29 Aug 2005|10:54pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

"graceless lady, you know who I am..."

I reach these certain points in my life when I just begin to long for things that were once, but could never be again. I guess these things had their time and place, and nothing on this earth or the heavens could ever take the memories from my mind, or even worse, my heart. I am being very vague, mainly because I am not talking about one specific person, or one specific event. They are just those moments that are like photographs, and wont leave my mind.

"wild wild horses, couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday."

I just wonder, do any of you miss the good old days?

"faith has been broken. Tears must be cried. Let's do some living, after we die."

4 *From Hell*

[12 Aug 2005|06:54pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Part of me is so ready for this bittersweet summer to end. The other half of me is going to miss the freedom that comes with summer. I really hate the restrictions that come with surrendering myself to enter back into the gates of hell. It's not that I hate school, I mean, I love to learn. I hate how we have a ridiculous amount of cops that bust kids for doing the same things that they probably did when they were in highschool. Oh, and I hate the jerkoff's in the office. die.

I think I really should've changed schools back in freshman year.

6 *From Hell*

[21 Jul 2005|08:41pm]
[ mood | amused ]

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you have sex with me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

4 *From Hell*

[16 Jul 2005|10:00pm]

Your Life: The Soundtrack

Created by aiko and taken 30892 times on bzoink!

Opening creditstonight, tonight - smashing pumpkins
Waking upfirst day of my life - bright eyes
Average daydumb - nirvana
First dateromeo and juliet - dire straits
Falling in loveplayground love - air
Love scenecrimson and clover - tommy james
Fight scenein the flesh - pink floyd
Breaking upspade - marilyn manson
Getting back togethercrown of love - arcade fire
Secret lovecontagious - isley brothers
Life's okaywhiskey in the jar - greatful dead
Mental breakdownsunrise sunset - bright eyes
Drivingnothing came out - modly peaches
Learning a lessoneverybodys gotta learn sometime - beck
Deep thoughtsanteria - sublime
Flashbackwild horses - rolling stones
Partyingblack betty - ram jam
Happy dancesubmarine no. 3 - starlight mints
Regretingnobody home - pink floyd
Long night alonecreep - radiohead
Death scenerocky raccoon - beatles
Closing creditsperfect day - velvet underground

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

6 *From Hell*

A prelude [27 Jun 2005|02:38am]
[ mood | i want a cigarette ]

....a gun shot that woke her to a terrible nightmare.....
She hated nights like this, like so many before. It was rainy and dreary and they could see the dim lights from the city bellow them. As she looked into his eyes, she knew it was all over. She used to see forever, and now, only faded memories of days past, and all that could've been. The room was damp from her tears and cold, and neither of the star crossed lovers had said a word in what seemed to be an eternity. This pained her even more than the reality that they hadn't known eachother in very long time. He was at a loss for words. He always was these days.
"I want out" He cried so loud she thought the heavens could surley hear him as well.
"You've been gone a long time" she replied, but the despiration was gone from her voice and all she could do was sigh.

*From Hell*

[23 May 2005|10:57pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Comment with your name and I will write something about you.
- I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
- If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
- I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
- I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
- I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
- I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
- Put this in your journal

28 *From Hell*

In this great future, you can't forget your past, so dry your tears, I say.... [08 May 2005|05:45pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Everything has come full circle, and yet, everything feels so far from anything real, anything normal.

4 *From Hell*

[03 May 2005|11:07pm]
[ mood | irate ]

You'll be fucking sorry if you were the shithead that ratted out ryan.

7 *From Hell*

I don't know why I'm even doing this to myself. [01 May 2005|10:46pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Post anything you want. Any memories you have with me, and if you must use the annyomous thingy, please let me know who you are. Chances are, I remember it too. They don't even have to be about theseCollapse )

28 *From Hell*

Ryan inspired me to listen to this...ladaladalada.... [13 Apr 2005|11:02pm]
[ mood | humble ]


Awwww, MR. SAINT NICKOLS GOT HIGH!

OSAMA YO MAMA!!Collapse )

4 *From Hell*

I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the ho [10 Apr 2005|10:49pm]
[ mood | content ]

If anyone wants to see a really awesome movie, then go see sin city. It's one of my all time favorites now.



fucking snobsCollapse )

11 *From Hell*

It's been a long long time, since you walked out my door. [07 Apr 2005|10:42pm]
[ mood | Melancholy&the InfinateSadness ]

I feel like a crumbling mess of everything.

I really really miss you. I really miss how we used to be friends so long ago. What hurts me even more, is that the only thing you can say to us not being friends anymore is just "oh well".

Oh well shit happens I guess.

10 *From Hell*

theres nothing there for you to prove. [07 Apr 2005|12:14am]
[ mood | nostalgic and sad ]

This entry will be extremly pointless.It wont make any sense, only to the people that these people were involved with

I remember going swimming with leslie and watching alot of sex and the city and getting her to drink something i mixed. I remember meeting rebecca for the first time in gym and we bonded over talking about hot celebrities, particularly josh hartnett. I remember staying up all night with jane and doing shitloads of adderall and cleaning my room and her talking about living in lubbock. I remember taking pictures in the bluebonnets last year with jordan, we have some weird facination with it, and ofcourse feb.18, 2004. I remember how nice Hana always was to me in speech class, even though she didn't even know me. I remember spending the first night of 2004 with michelle and taking the most random of pictures. I remember my sixtenth birthday and how abigail was there and how she was the first person that I drove with alone. I remember seeing Hannah for the first time in the parkinglot at anderson waiting to get picked up. I remember tim's sister taking me to the mall.

These float in my head from time to time.

Too bad these memories are lightyears away, and yet they never cease to fade.

6 *From Hell*

[06 Apr 2005|12:00am]
[ mood | tired ]

Tonight I was a huge dumbass and left my cell phone at Jordan's. I appologize if you called me and I didn't pick up.

Went to Treetop tonight with Jordan, Callie and Chase. It was silly and fun. We got crunk. (That was my lame attempt to be black or be a nigger or something. Sorry, it won't happen again.)

My little sisters are leaving town tomorrow for the rest of the week and into the weekend. Fuck yes. That means that everything will be much more laid back at my home. And that my mom can go out and do her thing with her friends, cause i know she gets awfully lonley here without anyone to talk too.

I'm eating oatmeal, and surprisingly enough, I actually kind of like it.
I forgot how tasty it is when it has cinnamon in it!

Love and other indoor sports,
Ellie


p.s.-I would've always been there for you.

8 *From Hell*

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